The movie War Room quickly jumped to the top of the charts in recent weeks. I had the opportunity to view it with my wife and another counselor. Although it was not what I expected, I found it to be an extremely positive film which accurately portrayed situations and principles consistent with good counseling practice.
In this film, the middle-class Jordan family is facing the kind of marital and family crisis that is typical of those we see daily in the counseling office. The film clearly depicts Danielle, the daughter, experiencing the devastating impact that marital issues and lack of parental attention have on children. Often couples in the midst of marital problems deny this reality.
Elizabeth Jordan, the wife and mother, is confronted by Miss Clara who perceives her marital and faith struggles. Miss Clara is a wise, delightful and engaging character that I enjoyed very much. As a result of her interventions, Elizabeth is challenged to focus on herself and her role in the marital discord. She strengthens her faith and changes her behavior with the results having a tremendous impact on the relationship. She “rocks the family boat”.
Tony Jordan experiences the natural consequences of his behaviors and “hits the bottom.” His changes result in some unexpected and positive changes.
Some reviewers have been critical of the changes that Elizabeth made claiming that she became a passive, dependent female. They miss the point entirely. What she did was find herself and her personal identity. Rather than falling into old relationship traps, she found personal and spiritual strength and became a strong leader in her family.
One trap that wishful viewers may make in viewing War Room is the belief that if you change, everything will turn out well and you will “live happily ever after”. In this case Elizabeth and Danielle have gained something wonderful no matter what the marital results. Unfortunately, the reality is that as one person in a relationship changes the partner will have to change. That change is sometimes very negative and the relationship is lost. In difficult marriage situations, we find that when one person in the relationship changes the relationship has to change. Unfortunately people usually only seek out help when they reach a crisis point and often that is too late.
This is an excellent, faith based film and I strongly recommend it keeping my cautions in mind. Healthy marriages do not come easily in today’s society. Pre-marital coaching, the early recognition of problems and joint counseling are the best possible options.
Lee Webster is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has over 40 years of counseling experience. He is also the founder and clinical director of the Center for Human Development. To learn more about Lee click here.
*Barb and I had the opportunity to meet and have our picture taken with T. C. Stallings who portrayed Tony Jordan at the American Association of Christian Counselors International Conference recently